Cruising on the USS Ameri-nomic

I think I've finally gotten the plan figured out. First, in this exclusive cruise line there are clearly no need for cars. Got that Big 3? Next, we all need to understand there is first class and there is economy class, a.k.a. standard or coach. There are a few terms between first class and standard class, usually for the sake of expensive semantics. You may hear luxury, business or executive class from time to time. Now, how does all this apply to our sinking American economy while we still try to keep this luxury liner afloat? First we have to come to the understanding that just because we are all "in the same boat" doesn't mean we all have the same accommodations. First and foremost are our leaders and unlike a cruise ship, they do not bear the responsibility of the captain and crew. Our leaders will not sink with the rest of us, actually they will ride this calamity out in comfortable first class or retire to executive class on another ship with some esteemed colleagues. They will of course, continue to offer steering advice, and tell the rest of us in coach that we are all in this together. Next there are the executives and some of them warrant executive class and others, business class, this is where our leaders come in. The leaders, sort of like captain and crew determine the accommodations and arrangements, but again, they will not be going down with the ship. I've read there is even talk of pre-emptive pardons for some in various levels of the luxury class. Now, moving right along to the economy class. If you will look to your left, you will see plenty of opportunities for free buckets and containers. And if you will look to your right, you will find a few used life preservers and snorkels at a reasonable premium price. The good ones, of course are reserved for the non-economy classes to use in their transference to another ship. Now, here is the ultimate plan. For those that get in line to the right, while supply lasts, you will have access to the gear, once the supply is exhausted a select few will be paid to take a bucket or container, but not to worry, you will retain your right class status, none the less. When those in first class have safely embarked on another vessel, their seats are reserved for you. As for all those with a bucket or container, I believe we all now recognize the term Bail . . . Out. And that will be the task of those in the economy class, as the USS Ameri-nomic goes down.
. . . and there was a mighty tempest in the sea, so that the ship was like to be broken. Then the mariners were afraid, and cried every man unto his god . . . a prophet of Holy Scripture