Friday, January 05, 2007

A Personal Letter to Iraq

Dear Iraq,
I live in the country that is responsible for bringing you a "new way of life." I don't agree with my leaders, but they are the leaders and I am just a nameless, faceless citizen, but they do have my number. I'm sure most of you remember how that feels. Let me tell you a few things about your "democracy teacher." First, every time the liberal party, here at home, starts talking about a democracy and the will of the people, our leaders remind us, this is not a democracy but a republic. The next thing everyone here yammers about is a country based upon a Constitution. And we have one whiz-bang Constitution, but we also have something that I haven't heard that you people have come up with, yet. We have a Bill of Rights. It's in pretty sorry shape right now, but it was a good document for nearly 200 years. It's taken a beating in the last 5 years, however; but it is a good document. It was drawn up, not by the leaders, but by the people. The Constitution protects our "sovereignty as a nation," the Bill of Rights protects the citizens from it's government. You ought to check into it before much longer. Now about "your judicial system." It needs work. Appointing people to carry out an execution, who have a personal vendetta or an axe to grind against the accused is not justice, it's called vengeance at best and revenge at worst. But mostly, it comes across to the rest of us as pretty stupid and very ugly. So, before you exercise your sovereign independence in executions, you might want to consider a few steps of independence along the way, like taking care of yourselves. The President of Ameriraq is expecting the Americans to come up with more money for you people to have jobs. We don't have jobs! I just read the stats. In the past 2 months, alone, there have been a quarter of a million jobs supposedly "created" and our unemployment rate hasn't changed. Does that make sense to any of you in the other half of Ameriraq? I must tell you, I wasn't very impressed when the statue came down in '03 and in your new found freedom, it was reported that the number one request was satellite TV. I don't have satellite TV, and if you've lived this long without it, you don't need it until you can pay for it yourself. We have a large number of Americans that consider it their entitled right to do nothing and receive money, and frankly, they were here first. When it comes to the Government Dole, it is first come, first serve, and you are way out at the end of the line. I still don't see that your new found democracy is working for you, but I read in our headlines, now that Saddam is dead, America might not expect so much, after all. It seems, now; as of last Saturday morning, the mission truly has been accomplished! We that are stateside in Ameriraq are about to hear the new strategy for fixing your country. Have any of you told the President what it is you want? Obviously you are still satisfied with barbarism and intimidation, as long as the power has shifted. Now, let me talk to the grandmas, grandma to grandma. I don't want my grandchildren paying for this endeavor and the bill is astronomical. So, let's see if there is a better way to get someone to listen than the legacy of the Palestinian grandma.
Now, on to religion. We know you don't believe all religions are the same. You believe quite devoutly in yours. I believe quite devoutly in mine, and obviously when it comes to religious beliefs, we all feel that our personal way is correct, that's why we believe it! You people all have the same religion, just two different sects, so why do we still have to be there to arbitrate your holy war against each other. Would you want to have to solve the issues between the Catholics and the Baptists here? Now, if your Quran teaches peace, live it and do it! I can assure you, if any nation was living the New Testament, they would not be in a war and certainly there would be no capital punishment. So maybe we all have a better understanding of where we are, now. I don't think you people lack intelligence or strategy, but I do think this situation has brought a significant reduction of world status to the USA, and I think you guys know it. You know we look bad and you also know according to the Geneva Convention, we've got to help you get fixed up in style, so are you really victims or have you, at minimal cost to yourselves killed Saddam Hussein and all but ruined the USA?
and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

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