Sunday, December 15, 2013

One Year Later

One year ago, I determined to post a personal obituary for every victim of the "Sandy Hook massacre," but every obit led me to more questions, rather than resolution.

I tried very hard to push away the first doubt, as I watched the President's speech that afternoon.   Something just seemed disingenuine.   As I watched him put his finger to his eye, as if wiping away a tear, I thought, "his tear ducts must be in backward."  There was no moisture under his eyes, yet he wiped the outside corner.  Maybe this is just a small obsessive observation, but as more questionable interviews occurred, my mind continued to review his speech.

The next evening was the first interview with Robbie Parker.  I watched in literal amazement and horror as he gave his speech with what seemed to be an imbalance of stoicism and emotion.

 As I continued to systematically list the obits, individually, the photos and reports seemed more like a horrible Lifetime Movie than reality.  The interviews became murky, and the news moved on so quickly, as the aim for guns and more psychiatric labels ensued.  The single still photo of the school children leaving looked completely disconnected to the reported events of that day.

Robbie Parker continues to be an enigma.  I can't tell if he's an actor or someone self-consumed in search of his 15 minutes of fame . . . I know when I became a bereaved parent, I couldn't even mention or hear my child's name without feeling as though the world was falling in on me again and again.  My child did not die in violence, but it was many weeks before that heaviness in my chest began to ease.

I went to  and did a search for a Robbie Parker / Robert Parker in Newtown Connecticut.  I found two listings.  One was 70 years old and the other 84 years of age . . .  I did find a James Parker with a relative named Natalie in nearby Danbury, but Robbie Parker wasn't listed as a relative . . . One year later, still more questions than answers, and not about the shooter, but the lingering question of reported news.  What is true?

Then shalt thou inquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth . . . Torah of Holy Scripture

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